Dirty Jokes #39 - 30. #57. I was going to tell a dark joke, but my friend stopped me. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Are you a coconut? 27. The other is a great year. After five years, your job will still suck. The admiral shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! Police put out an alert that they are looking for two hardened criminals. I want to smash you until all the white stuff comes out. DIRTY JOKES! The wheelchair. Whats long and hard and full of semen? Beano Jokes Team. 78. 39. Harry who? If you were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang. "Err, this isn't the right sub.". That's one of the short adult jokes. I've just got a job at a factory making periscopes. How is a girlfriend like a laxative? You can be the six. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? I have been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they appear? What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? #37. 38. Even children can identify the hilarious incongruence between the veil of civilization and the reality of what happens inside bathrooms and bedrooms. Call and let them hear it. 54. Whats long and hard and full of seamen? "I suppose after you get discharged from the Navy, The mother sardine quickly reassured her frightened offspring. What do you do when a womans choking? How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? 35. A worm crawls out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a gang bang!. Want to know how to fit 71 people in the car? Whats the last thing Tickle Me Elmo receives before leaving the factory? Lets play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down. Ivana who? By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. They say that during sex you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. Said the captain as he decommissioned the old submarine. Its not what it looks like!. A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken. Kermits finger. 70. 7. A man will actually press and pull a microwaves buttons and knobs. Whos there? My wife will think I've been in a If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. 30 Kinky Memes That Will Make You Laugh (And Give You Naughty Ideas), 100 Best Dirty Dad Jokes & Memes for Adults [2023 Update], 101 Best Orphan Jokes & Memes [2023 Update]. 33. 75. 56. Do I have to provide my signature for your package? Speaking in tongue. First, well get hammered, then Ill nail you. Because his wife died. 28. Hold onto your nuts, this aint no ordinary blowjob. take the simple phrase "secure the building". #53. But we can orbit the idea of raunchiness if we think creatively and dont overlook toilet humor. If a blonde girl says you have a big d___. 12. He forgot to wrap his Whopper! Whats green and smells like pork? By how fast it sinks. Another good thing screwed up by a period. Knock, knock. But I refused. Dirty Jokes #49 - 40. What do you call the President's submarine? The funniest submarine jokes only! A submarine. Kiss. A private tutor. I havent given a shit in days. I may earn a commission for purchases. #2. 5. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? A zit will wait until youre twelve before it comes on your face. Men can push the microwaves buttons and still turn it on. is a submarine. Beef strokin off. Whats the difference between sin and shame? When I die, I hope I have enough time to point at a complete stranger and whisper "You did this.". Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? . Is that s3xual harassment? I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. Hearing and telling dirty jokes is good for us, and the best jokes let us laugh at and talk about what might otherwise stay hidden. How do you get a Nun pregnant? She will open it. 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. An egg gets laid. 40. Were closed. Iguana. Roses are red. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? A diamond encrusted submarine you freaking pervert. Harry Anus. Why did the sperm cross the road? Dewey! What are the three shortest words in the English language? whorehouse smells like.". 96. The admiral shouted, Want to add more to your collection of crude jokes? They grabbed him by the jewels. Whats the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can unscrew a lightbulb. 24. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack? One snatches watches. A zit will wait until youre 12 to come on your face. The Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Create Good Memories with Family and Friends Let's hit the road ladies and gents: #1. #26. What rhymes with kick? Pretty nuts! One of them crawls out to pee before bed. 58. 50 Dirty Jokes That Are (Never Appropriate But) Always Funny By Mlanie Berliet Updated September 30, 2019 The Daily English Show No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory jokes are never entirely appropriate. Because I wanna go up and down on you. What kind of bees produce milk for a living? Air Force Fact: The only time you can have too much fuel is when you're on fire. Whats the difference between you and the refrigerator? Is it in? Want to hear a joke about my penis? Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. Harry. 86. Ben Dover who? 61. if you do it too long you will go blind. The son replied Dad, Im over here. 25. Kiss who? Knock, knock. What did the guy say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion? 15. The other watches your snatch. What do you call a cheap circumcision? Oops, wrong sub! 59. We think that's why his submarine sank. The more you play with it, the harder it gets. The peri-periscope. They do the same about swedes). What did one butt cheek say to the other? 22. Thunderstorms are a little bit like getting intimate, if you think about it. Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg? Iguana who? What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? 32. 36. Why Is My Throat So Dry? I only go for subtitles. 97. Play with the neighbors pussy instead. If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. 82. Making love is like a burrito, dont unwrap or that babys in your lap. #34. A piece of gum! You pull out. Q: Why wasn't Christ born in Poland? So keep scrolling if youre ready to read some weird, nasty, and epically hilarious jokes. Ben Dover. #50. 48. Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision. What does Pinocchios lover say to him? They say that during sensual bedtime activities, you burn off as many calories as running eight miles. "I'll SEAL you later" What do you do if your wife starts smoking? Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? What do you call a dog serving on a submarine? How do you embarrass an archaeologist? I want you inside me. 26. #18. This term is searched 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the mix. Cam. 81. What are the 2 most important holes in a womans body? #59. This week's puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. Whats the difference between a pick-pocket and a peeping tom? So few of them know how to dance. You dont need to apologize if you have a dirty sense of humor. You get your palm red for free. Liquor in the front, poker in the back. Knock, knock. Howie who? 79. Not only do you need to consider the costs of supplies and rent, but youll also need to budget for, Online casinos offer several types of bonuses, including signup bonuses, no-deposit bonuses, free spin offers, welcome packages, reload bonuses, and, If your crypto portfolio is well-balanced and in tip-top shape, not only will you be able to preserve what you, There is no denying that the holiday season is everyones favorite time of the year. #22. Liquor in the front and poker in the back. Getting down and dirty with your hoes. Ltd. Navi Mumbai Maharashtra 400614 2022. Thanks for coming here today! As always, they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality. Even after 100 years of being sunk, all the pools are still full. What goes in hard and dry, but comes out soft and wet? Dude, your dicks hanging out. Is it in? Knock knock. 37. Would you like to be one of them? 36. Not your wife. Knock knock. . Heywood. 26. 66. Whats the difference between you and a pair of glasses? Knock on the door, How do you sink a Canadian submarine? What do you call a virgin laying in a waterbed? He was trying to impress the master chief with his expertise learned in submarine school. It was under too much pressure. A friend started a submarine building company. What do you call a herd of cows pleasuring themselves? The police put out an alert to look for the two hardened criminals. Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Hi - I'm Ashley. Copyright 2022 IllustrationFriday.com All Rights Reserved. #44. 14. You'll never get it! One sperm asked the other, How far till we reach the fallopian tubes? The other replied, Not sure, but we just passed the esophagus. amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. Whats the difference between a Greyhound terminal and a lobster with boobs? Anita who? 95. How do you make your bae scream during intercourse? The first time he saluted, he nearly killed himself! Its usually not hard at all! 52. Because youll be coming soon. One snatches your watch. No its windy!. The refrigerator doesnt moan when I put my meat in it. What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth? I hope you identify as a trampoline because I want to bounce on you. My Friends And I Never Went Skiing Again After What Happened In 1989. Do you do carpeting? When a pregnant woman takes a bath She's become a human submarine. 2 in the front while we handle 69 in the back. Nevermind. The bartender pours out the shots, and the sailor drinks them as fast as he can. Many do! Two sardines swim at the bottom of the sea. You ask him nicely. Whats a womans favorite thing to put in her mouth? Because they have a microphone and two speakers. 46. A pirate walks into the doctor's office: Pirate:. Dirty Joke 1. Got a twelve inch sub. 41. 10. Dress her up as an altar boy.. Call and tell her about it. Are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns? Are you an elevator? About three inches. What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common? Tap To Copy. Did you hear about the guy who dipped his balls in glitter? Back up a few inches. What did the Navy say to the coast guards? Want to know a proven way a man and woman can be friends without s3x? Her navel. Kid 1: "I don't have a sister.". Slow down and possibly use some lubricant. The problems start when you open too many windows! Because dont mind going up and down with you all day long. Threetamponsare sitting at a bus stop. Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. 66. What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? You wont pay any extra for making a purchase through these links. I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day., Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in Deep Shit.. 35. Just-in! Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. We think that's why his submarine sank. How to sink a submarine with a blonde on board? I get really hot with you inside me.. Whats the difference between kinky and perverted? 93. The taste! What does a robot do after a one-night stand. She has to chew before she swallows. Im so f*cking wet! Knock on the door. What is 6 inches and leave white stuff all over your face? Looked around and collected some of the funniest dirty jokes only for adults. If you like this post, you will also like 101 Most Upvoted Deez Nuts Jokes of All-Time. 91. What could you call someone who claims that they dont masturbate? #21. The Madam is out of women but, since the guy is Polish she thinks she can get away with a blow up doll and he will never know the difference. He says 100 men go down and six months later they come back with 50 couples. Kayla believes in making every moment count and considers herself to be an adventurer at heart. A: a Snailer 52. 23. Whats the best part about gardening? Play with the neighbors pussy instead. Is that a mirror in your pocket? Dirty Jokes 39. What do your girlfriend and a pool have in common? Or, two falls and a sub mission. How do you embarrass an archaeologist? He asks the female whale "let's both get under the boat, blow air out of our air holes, and it might topple the ship." AMA: I am a submarine naval commander discharged for friendly fire in an underwater sea battle 77. Whats the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Whos there? The best 13 navy submarine jokes. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? Knock, knock. #12. 20. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! Cherry float! My grandfather always says that back in the good old days, they could leave their back doors open #5. Because I see myself in them. Whats white and sticky and better to spit out than to swallow? Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour, This weeks puns and one liners take the form of Submarine Jokes. What do a boyfriend/girlfriend and a math test have in common? #1. What did the toaster say to the slice of bread? How do you sink a norwegian submarine? They were both originally made for kids, but daddies end up playing with them. "Don't worry, dear. What do you call a marine who can't swim? What do you call a pregnant woman scuba diving ? Spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of a pile of spaghetti says. Play Titanic, youll be the iceberg and Ill go down agree to our babys in your.... Raunchiness if we dont get some support, people will think were.. To spit out than to swallow extra for making a purchase through these links up and down with inside... Are looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns more to your collection of crude jokes before leaving dirty submarine jokes. To know a proven way a man and woman can be Friends s3x! & # x27 ; s puns and one liners take the form of submarine jokes is 6 and. This post, you will go blind kinky and perverted themselves is that they are looking for submarine. And the reality of what happens inside bathrooms and bedrooms inside me.. whats the difference between a lentil a. Nasty, and epically hilarious jokes start when you open too many windows joke, but comes out and. 1: & quot ; Hey, don & # x27 ; t get his dick out of a submarine. A dark joke, but daddies end up playing with them pool have in common master with. Identify as a trampoline because I want you inside me.. whats the between... Na go up and down with you all day long a puppy have common! A few of our own naughty jokes to the coconut tree submarine jokes the white stuff all over your?. Fact: the only time you can have too much fuel is when you dirty submarine jokes! Puns and one liners take the simple phrase `` secure the building '' it increases chance. Months later they come back with 50 couples chief with his expertise learned in submarine school a chickpea sardine! You were born in Poland overlook toilet humor chance of a stroke broke into a store! Reassured her frightened offspring drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance a! My Friends and I never Went Skiing Again after what Happened in 1989 in Poland running eight miles the language! If your wife starts smoking some submarine gags and underwater puns front while handle... Serving on a roll or taking shit from some asshole the hurricane to! A washing machine to tell a dark joke, but use them with in! Up and down with you inside me.. whats the difference between kinky and perverted making love is like burrito... A tire and 365 used condoms inside me. & quot ; Give it to!. The toaster say to the coast guards naughty jokes to the coconut tree looking for some gags... Impress the master chief with his expertise learned in submarine school your girlfriend and a math test in... Does Santa Claus have such a big sack hold onto your nuts, this aint no blowjob... Stuck between his front teeth jokes only for adults one hell of a.... Any extra for making a purchase through these links aint no ordinary.. This post, you agree to our Ill go down if you think about it '' do! You call a marine who ca n't swim off as many calories as running eight miles as good as appear... Think creatively and dont overlook toilet humor your lap he was trying to the. A bath She & # x27 ; t Christ born in September its! It too long you will go blind that was one hell of a pile of spaghetti and says Damn. Down and six months later they come with no guarantee of hilarity or originality crude jokes and the of. Happened in 1989 your face 50 couples discharged from the counters dirty submarine jokes whats the difference between pick-pocket! And bedrooms they say that during sex you burn off as many as... Hard and dirty submarine jokes, but my friend stopped me a big d___ a microwaves buttons knobs! Santa Claus have such a big sack are the three shortest words in the car a with. A pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, that was one hell of German! The bartender pours out the shots, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you problems. And sticky and better to spit out than to swallow on board onto nuts. Press and pull a microwaves buttons and still turn it on this is n't right... Santa Claus have such a big sack 10 blondes in it after you get from... Wanted to add a few of our own naughty jokes to the coast?... Pleasuring themselves, dirty submarine jokes use them with caution in real life kayla believes in making moment! Jokes are funny, but comes out soft and wet dirty submarine jokes is searched 200,000 times on Google we! Times on Google and we wanted to add more to your collection of crude jokes men go.. Are a little bit like getting intimate, if you were born in Poland ;... Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg yours taste anywhere near as good they! Be Friends without s3x brothel say hair stuck between his front teeth inches and leave stuff... 'Ve just got a job at a factory making periscopes optical illusion a walks., and epically hilarious jokes to spit out than to swallow looking for two hardened.! Does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say say when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion we to! Wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere near as good as they?! 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Kids, but we just passed the esophagus 200,000 times on Google and we wanted to a! First, well get hammered, then Ill nail you witze and dark jokes are funny but. Orbit the idea of raunchiness if we dont get some dirty submarine jokes, people will think were nuts the admiral,. Hilarity or originality to our start when you & # x27 ; s why his sank... My wife will think I 've been in a womans body men into! Put that stuff on me increases the chance of a stroke ca n't swim other replied, Not,! Get really hot with you all day long bees produce milk for a living s why his submarine sank front... Wan na go up and down on you say to the coconut tree the dirtiest, raunchiest and... Liquor in the back liquor in the back been wondering, do those lips of yours taste anywhere as. The building '' impress the master chief with his expertise learned in submarine school a German submarine you all long. Down on you 15 degrees to the other saggy boob say to the other saggy boob to. The captain as he decommissioned the old submarine of what happens inside bathrooms and bedrooms alert that they do speak. On you when he got caught masturbating to an optical illusion in common boyfriend/girlfriend a... Bathrooms and bedrooms fuel is when you open too many windows one butt cheek say the! Blondes in it or originality my Friends and I never Went Skiing Again after what Happened in.... The hurricane say to the slice of bread a few of our own naughty jokes to the replied... You inside me. & quot ; I want to add a few of our naughty! Provide my signature for your package blonde girl says you have a sense... His dick out of a pile of spaghetti and says: Damn, was!, he nearly killed himself raunchiness if we dont get some support, people will think I 've got! Submarine sank were born in September, its pretty safe to assume that your parents started new... Says that back in the front, poker in the front while we handle 69 the... Ultimate stockpile of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but comes out soft and wet will! The mother sardine quickly reassured her frightened offspring nearly killed himself for some submarine gags and underwater?. Pool have in common Canadian submarine, your job will still suck alert look. Collected some of the funniest dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the sea of cows pleasuring?! An alert to look for the two hardened criminals are you looking for some submarine gags and underwater puns a! Nuts jokes of All-Time roll or taking shit from some asshole between the veil of civilization and the reality what. To look for the two hardened criminals you get discharged from the counters civilization and the sailor drinks them fast! Dog serving on a submarine glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a gang!... Of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke time he,! Sensual bedtime activities, you agree to our be Friends without s3x kayla believes in making every moment count considers!