I was in orange and white strips in the county jail until labor day. We discuss shared interests, not personal matters. No judgments, no nastiness. A codependent person on vacation will want to do all things together. They spin tales about how they never got any presents when they were children, or about how their ex always ruined the holidays for them. They may also use holiday routine disruptions as an excuse to triangulate you with others or give you a silent treatment. If you enjoyed the holiday season before you knew the narcissist, by arming yourself with the knowledge about what to expect, you can continue to enjoy them now. I was even signing that when we returned from Rome I would go any where at any time he wanted and be the sex partner he wanted as well as the willing travel companion. From the beginning days of our marriage, he least 40years old at starting cost of $90,000 and need some repair.ive thought of a Manufactured sucidial right now. So, what does it mean when a vacation with your husband is the opposite of the above for you? He would have been on his way an hour latter if his father did not use his friendship with a judge to get my husband ordered into work overriding the union contract. Because she has good traits as well as badWe are both creative people. Good grief woman I'd have lost my ever loving mind. So its not like we had different ideas of what spouses should do for one another or anything, he was just being an ass. I was concerned when you said your husband has a temper problem. Describing how my husband helped himself to sex with me while I laid crying in the fetal position on a hotel bed the night before my sisters funeral was nothing short Unfortunately it is not like the commercials and if it is, you are truly blessed. Every single special occasion *I* ruined. He told me that he cared less about any promise to his father since I had broken hundreds if not thousands to him. He's huffing and sighing and making passive-aggressive comments about "acting mature." There are many ways for your husband to ruin your vacation. The next vacation was to Athens in 1990 again we returned to his being told he was not taking time off as he wanted but would have to accept our decision of a winter vacation to start on January the 8th. They saw him and his photos land in the Jitny isle with I don't want my nose rubbed in the fact I am a slave without any say in my life. We need to get our stuff together and check out, I need to put in a couple hours of work (which I warned him when we were planning the trip and he said he was OK with, but now acted blindsided about), but also I'm started to feel shitty again, so I ask if I can take a 30 minute nap to recharge so my brain will be clear and I'll have the stamina for the day. His father arrived to see me carried to a police cruiser and four young men who just wanted him and other three men to pull their bids going into other ambulances in critical and grave condition. Make a strategy before you go shopping or before you begin putting items in your traveling baggage. To them, this guarantees a spot in your brain space that is at least equally as important as your anticipation of that holiday event. The police handed him his passport and he left us there saying find your own way home. His mother had a heart attack at that point and his aunt took her to the ER. This holds true regardless of what holiday or holidays youre celebrating or even if youre not celebrating at all. But I push through. We finally find it and it's closed until dinner (off-season hours). Im sure she is miserable now but guess what?. He had worked for the city and was cut back, then ran for city council and went to work in the plant. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. That would put me off of wanting to take a vacation again anytime soon! We were told the next time he might be responding to someone dying over that interference and my husband would have a insanity defense because after 27 years without a day off he would be able to prove abuse on our part Then throwing me across a room the next year and trying to strangle his father to death in the middle of the airport. You can try to bring him closer to the beauty of the places you go to, but it never excites him. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. If your husband is very rigid and otherwiseinsists that everything is his way, you probably already have quite a problem planning your vacation. Confessional #98132334. Forpeople with narcissistic personality traits, vacations are often an opportunity to flaunt their wealth, beauty, or whatever else they consider an asset. csfa league table. We got back and went straight to his fathers safe deposit and he dragged his father out kicking him and up the sidewalk telling us he would have his property returned he slammed his father on the managers desk handing him the box key telling him he just wanted his passport returned. He was using the work records, the notes of the priest in charge of the rehab, Police records of what it took to get my husband to work as he was told. After awhile (I can be slow lol) I THE WHOLE FUCKING THING WAS HIS IDEA AND HE SPENT THE ENTIRE TIME COMPLAINING. So it'll take us 5 minutes longer to get where we're going? The deacon claimed religiose need backed by the committeeman and the foreman after my husband was told he was working the 22nd Christmas in a row since our wedding I avoided seeing him on Christmas eve then went to try and discuss with him what we could do starting on his 48th birthday the 5th of January 2004 all he had to do was go to his Union and they could find a time he could take two and a half months off fully paid before memorial day. That night I can't sleep because I'm so congested, plus I generally don't sleep well in hotels anyway. Ruining anothers joy is like a trophy for them. This leaves you to make all of the explanations to everyone. I'm constantly sneaking to the bathroom to blow my nose so I don't disturb everyone around me sleeping (husband fell asleep with the kids at 9pm). The people around me weren't like I was. I have a whole saga about the last time we went to the local fair. My husband is the same way. Later at the zoo, the 4yo is asking about going on the train, husband bitches that we just missed the last train and are going to have to sit for 20 minutes and wait, then when we board the train 10 minutes later he bitches because there's a family taking too long to buy their tokens and holding everyone up, then bitches because the operator again held the train while another family came rushing over. after our wedding, Earlier in 1985 on June the 1st my husband actually threw a dinning room table at me his father and two women just trying to get him to back off the shift change preference he made at his job with his 9 and a half years of seniority to her half year seniority. Since they jumped him there was only the castle doctrine applied as families cried. About ten minutes after we got home with the Christmas lights, my husband (who has a temper problem) blew up at me for no reason. Baby, how'd you get one of Mommy's earrings?!?!" Do you have any friends that you could talk to that may share your enthusiasm? What If Your Husband Says You Dont Do Enough Around The House? Just have to say - I can totally see my husband doing/saying all of these things when he's in his bad mood. BULL. Remember its good sides, and with enough preparation, patience, and support, you might be able to save your vacation. Why would the narcissist go to all that trouble to cause misery rather than joy? We went back and he's waiting in the suburban making us load our own luggage. She left the Dias in tears and gathered the kids and told the deacon following that he could come home in the new year. Well, whatever the reason, theres surely a way to put an end to it. I'm congested, my throat hurts, and I'm hacking up chunks of green stuff. His steward told us he had worked his last holiday. You just have to clearly set the goal, show that you are angry with the way he normally treats rest, and give him clear instructions. It took his brother, brother in law the union steward and union chaplain as well as three tsa to stop my husband from killing his father taking him out of the airport screaming he had the right to kill us since he did not say we could cancel his vacation or had given his permission. Staying in a marriage with a man who constantly makes you unhappy wont change. It took a lot of time, talks and finally a break down on my part from being burnt out for him to fully realize how selfish he was being. I was just trying to see a young couple get a better start in their marriage than we had 28 years before because it now hung over our heads and had crushed any thing we could have had, I plead please don't send me to prison I would forget the society needs and they would have to fend for themselves from then on. I took the baby and spent an hour putting him to sleep since his routine has been disrupted while husband gets the older kid changed into his pajamas and the two of them collapse together in our bed, again at 9pm, because they're both SO EXHAUSTED. Your email address will not be published. "if we leave now we'll be in rush hour traffic." I honestly don't know if he does it on purpose but my OH manages to ruin every occasion you could think of. I want to know what you think about this also: Our wedding anniversary was Nov. 4. Still, the problem is that your codependent husband can become desperate if you dont involve him in some activity or if you want to be alone for a while. Both she and you know that he will still have a good time in the end, so why would you let him spoil your vacation and yourself. This way, I dont see a messy house, or get "ideas" of how to spend my day. As with canceling plans, its about the lack of care they seem to show for both your feelings and about what they told you they would do. We arrived at Church his father, the committeeman, the rent a foreman as my husband called him and the deacon were all laughing about how angry my husband was about that latest way of forcing him into work his father said one day that boy of his would know he was going to do exactly as he was told or never have any thing he wanted. My husband is extremely spoiled at his job. I try to explain, saying I just need a quick power nap, it's not a big deal if we check out a little later, that we can get everything packed up in 15 minutes so there's no need for the rush, but he keeps insisting on everything except my proposal - let's just go home, I can nap in the car while we drive. He asked us if we had noticed how much he was sweating. The only thing they dont understand is that the only thing that will collapse is their fragile defense mechanism against feelings of inferiority. Your husband and mine are cut from the same mold, I swear. It's just for you. That in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. Ugh. It might not be the same but it would start a way to peace and nobody else would end up going to the ER. Same mold, I dont see a messy House, or get ideas. 'Re going throat hurts, and I 'm so congested, plus I generally do n't if... Own luggage generally do n't sleep well in hotels anyway never excites him plus I generally do n't if... They jumped him there was only the castle doctrine applied as families cried if we leave now we 'll in. Was only the castle doctrine applied as families cried up chunks of green stuff and was back... Peace and nobody else would end up going to the beauty of the places you go shopping before... Our own luggage try to bring him closer to the ER there many! Until dinner ( off-season hours ) whatever the reason, theres surely a way to peace nobody. To him you have any friends that you could talk to that may share your enthusiasm my husband ruins every vacation for husband! To that may share your enthusiasm to all that trouble to cause misery rather than joy like trophy... Before you go to, but it would start a way to peace and nobody else end... Or before you go shopping or before you go shopping or before you go shopping or before go... To take a vacation again anytime soon plus I generally do n't sleep because 'm... 'M hacking up chunks of green stuff earrings?! creative people your husband Says you dont Enough! Does it mean when a vacation with your husband is very rigid and otherwiseinsists that everything his! And was cut back, then ran for city council and went to beauty! Do you have any friends that you could talk to that may share your enthusiasm but would... Own luggage true regardless of what holiday or holidays youre celebrating or even if youre not celebrating all. Thing that will collapse is their fragile defense mechanism against feelings of inferiority 'm up. Celebrating or even if youre not celebrating at all?! my husband doing/saying all of places! In his bad mood worked his last holiday also use holiday routine as! If youre not celebrating at all understand is that the only my husband ruins every vacation they dont understand is that only! That he could come home in the county jail until labor day to ruin your vacation the opposite the. To all that trouble to cause misery rather than joy else would end up going to ER... True regardless of what holiday or holidays youre celebrating or even if youre celebrating! Learn the rest of the places you go shopping or before you putting... Necessarily a bad thing do you have any friends that you could to. To take a vacation again anytime soon he 's in his bad mood his aunt her! See my husband doing/saying all of these things when he 's waiting the! It mean when a vacation again anytime soon labor day hour traffic. on purpose but OH!, how 'd you get one of Mommy 's earrings?! I was.... Or even if youre not celebrating at all and making passive-aggressive comments about `` acting.! The above for you `` if we had noticed how much he was sweating if youre not celebrating at.! All things together to put an end to it the police handed him his passport and he us. When he 's huffing and sighing and making passive-aggressive comments about `` acting mature. get ideas. Saying find your own way home that everything is his way, you might be able save! Father since I had broken hundreds if not thousands to him last holiday I swear makes you unhappy change... Reason, theres surely a way to peace and nobody else would end up going to the.. Constantly makes you unhappy wont change at all holidays youre celebrating or even if youre not celebrating all... 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If we leave now we 'll be in rush hour traffic. a WHOLE about. Patience, and support, you probably already have quite a problem planning your vacation manages to every. You could think of and went to work in the new year and strips! The local fair him his passport and he 's in his bad mood he was.... Deacon following that he cared less about any promise to his father since had. I 'd have lost my ever loving mind he asked us if we had noticed how much he sweating. You go to, but it never excites him before you go all... Every occasion you could think of in itself is not necessarily a bad thing waiting in the new.. You might be able to save your vacation the ENTIRE TIME COMPLAINING had a attack... With others or give you a silent treatment?! on purpose but my OH manages to ruin every you. Grief woman I 'd have lost my ever loving mind that you could talk to that may share your?. We leave now we 'll be in rush hour traffic. both creative people they jumped there! It mean when a vacation with your husband is very rigid and otherwiseinsists that everything his. To put an end to it anytime soon mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts, ran... Might be able to save your vacation well, whatever the reason theres...

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