", DATING: cant wait to see you again Wife: Did you know 95 percent of people are immune to leprosy?Me: Wow.Wife: Did you know humming birds are the only bird that can fly backwards?Me: Oh.Wife: Did you know I'm going to keep reading you facts until I'm not bored anymore?Me: This quarantine needs to end. Look, some people react to stress differently. Me: The plain sight one is typical of my husband. She should be in Guantanamo Bay. Me: What? The coronavirus quarantine is a challenge for couples and people are already saying how it will either bring them closer together or pull them apart. My hubby called me by my real name the other day, instead of "dear", "hun", "possum", etc. So congrats, I guess. I think making a blanket statement like that when you have no evidence to back it up. Me: (stands up) Note: this post originally had 62 images. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. For those reasons, its good for the relationship and is totally normal, natural and healthy to spend some time apart in the home, he added. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! So lets see what twenty twenty (w)one had in it for us to laugh at. thoughts and prayers for my wife. Your account is not active. @valeegrrl, Stages of a relationship: I like you. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. I read some testimonies about a love spell caster by DR Iwisa on how he has helped lots of people in bringing back their ex lovers within 48hours, Sincerely I was just thinking if that was real and if this man could really help bring back my lover whom I love so much. Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. Accidentally forgot to pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. 1 Marriage is finding the one person you dislike slightly less than anyone else and deciding to pay bills together Also, the Cheetos are MINE NOW. Please provide your email address and we will send your password shortly. You can water it all you want, it aint gonna grow. All thanks goes to DR Iwisa for the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back . Many partners benefited from more quality time spent together, many initiated new hobbies and found common things to engage in together. Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Usually, we get our social needs met by lots of people and not just our spouse. You've always had the underlying current of I'm unhappy with this or that at home. But I think it has just brought the focus on domestic arrangements really into much more sharp focus than they would ordinarily be, she told the BBC. Yet, if a persons alone time is seen as a bad thing, resentment will naturally build up and may cause them to start imagining what it would be like to be single and have their own personal freedoms again.. He was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he can remember. We all thought that the quarantine would give us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the garage/pick up painting again. If i ask someone not to post about me then I expect them to respect that. My husband: peacefully sleeping looking like an angel. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. "Had to fake an injury to get out of doing some of these chores Ive been telling my wife I would do as soon as I had the time. Accept your limitations and find ways to go around them instead of beating yourself up. Feb 27, 2023, 03:34 PM EST. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. You cannot eat her fries, -commercial break- Her current mission is to find a magic formula for how to make ideas, news, and other such things spread like a virus. Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Rather than putting so much focus on what youre not happy about with the other person, start telling them what you appreciate and love about them, the relationship expert said. Wife: My wife wont tell me what her reopening plan is. Sorry. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell: 1. Is the concept of humor beyond so many people? Same here. Fortunately, there are ways of making married life easier during the quarantine. This is a cocktail that, when laid out in a Twitter post, makes a perfect comedy nugget and wisdom bite all at once. If you love it and can relate to it, share it with a friend! Me and my husband have been married for over 11yrs. Note: this post originally had 150 images. Marriage is hard but when you are with the right person like I am it is sweeter. I just kissed my husband goodbye as he went to work. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement. It doesn't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the way. Funny Marriage Quarantine TweetsTry Not To Laugh Challenge To Get Notification Whenever We Have A New Video.Music:https://www.epidemicsound.com/For copy. Wild. I needed this laugh today. 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And if you think these people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter! Me: And? Marriage is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong. And somehow, the husbands and wives of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in 280 characters or fewer. My wife and I are both working from home. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. As if married life wasnt hard enough already (separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone? In December of 2021, the CDC shortened the recommended self-isolation period after contracting COVID-19 to 5 days in most cases. Marriage. And. Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). H: *pouts* fine, what flavor is it?? . My wife is loosing her mind, who the fu*k eats a kitkat like this??? Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Husbands love to walk through the background of their wives' Zoom meetings, but it's rarely the other way around. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Twitter / @david8hughes " [wife drops me at the airport] Wife: Have a safe flight. Bored Panda reached out to relationship expert Dan Bacon, founder of The Modern Manwebsite, and spoke with him about how important it is that married couples have alone time and whether or not there is likely to be a divorce boom after the pandemic ends. My wife didn't order anything from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door to see if we're okay. I think they'll both happen. Husband: What are you watching? That means someone dies every 2 minutes from COVID. For couples that have a healthy relationship, that are doing pretty well, there are some ways this could bring people closer together, Saxbe said about couples who can figure out how to weather this pandemic together. a 34% rise in sales of divorce agreements, Flashback Girl: Lessons on Resilience From a Burn Survivor, 76% of new cases came from female clients, which makes it 16%, Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. 25 Funny Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together Now 25 Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together During Quarantine by Ruin My Week 11. Looking for more laughs? Me: *watching my husband take off his socks and leave them in the middle of the living room*, overheard my wife telling old friends from high school that weve been married for 18yrs, and when they asked whats ur secret, my wife said low standards wtf. But now, with people hoarding goods, it's more likely that the store actually doesn't have it. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. Me: Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. Due to personal reasons, Ill be flushing the toilet every time my husband showers this week. {On the phone with my mom} A day after a mother killed her 8-year-old daughter, then turned the gun on herself, the Dallas Police Department is reporting a spike in domestic violence amid the coronavirus shutdown. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. If you're quarantined with the person you've vowed to be with "'til death," you might relate to these tweets way too much. The person may even start denying sex or affection (e.g. This makes you appreciate the other person more when you do spend time with them. Why isnt porn more realistic? Sometimes it's easier to give the bad news via text from another room. Funny Tweets About Being Married Incoming . The bed one is true for sureits why we had to get a King! With that type of dynamic in place in a relationship, you can get through anything and will come out stronger, closer and more in love than you were before.. 2. I'm glad this dad finally understands what his wife has been through. Long story short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow? 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My husband just said, "I haven't had a cantaloupe this good since 1990!" Wifes asleep, so while watching TV I apologized to her corner spot on the sofa, for opening the bag of chips during key scenes. Snoring will never help your argument. and there are no winners. If I ever refer to my husband as my "rock" on Facebook, I've been hacked. Husband: *completely and utterly silent* Now, as 2021 comes to a close, were highlighting the most hilarious and relatable marriage tweets we saw this year. This is me. Everyone and their grandma keeps saying how important communication is in a marriage. You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Every other week, we round up the funniest quips about married life from the Twitterverse. My wife finished her shampoo and conditioner at the same time and now Im worried I married a witch, Before quarantine my husband used to eat like 5 Doritos and then fold the bag and put it away and since weve been in quarantine HE STILL DOES THE SAME THING I mean has this situation taught him nothing, Me: Youre SURE you know how to cut hair? Marrying someone is easy. I told my husband I wanted to buy an expensive blender, he said we don't need an expensive blender. JUST LEAVE THE GROCERIES ON THE DOORSTEP. hahaahahah! ET Quarantining is a challenge for everyone, but there is a particularly interesting dynamic for married couples. because living vicariously through our partner on their phone is better than looking at our own phone for even one more second. My wife managed to open a jar of pickles herself and I am now nonessential. Think about them, agonize about them inside all you want, but don't start asking them point-blank why they're doing the things the way that they're doing them. My wife just sliced some cheese onto a cutting board, poured out a box of crackers on top of it and declared, Charcuterie to our dinner guests so naturally Ill be proposing to her again tonight. Every husband in the background of a Zoom conference. Everyone knows that marriage has its ups, its downs, and its in-betweens. If affection and intimacy decline too far, both people will naturally start to feel more irritable and frustrated, which can lead to arguments, blaming and unloving behavior.. 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. We call them his talons because they get so long and sharp. My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. Read on for 25 relatable new ones that will have you laughing in agreement. Hello! Him: babe, thats bad. 92 Hilarious Tweets About Married Life That Perfectly Sum Up Marriage 2M views Viktorija Gabulait Community member First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in the baby carriage funny tweets about your marriage! Do you truly believe that is what represents the majority? Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to fall asleep so fast. Unfortunately, not everyone has been that lucky this past year, and knowing so should make our relationships all the more special. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me! I have a fantastic partner and we have a healthy relationship (and we're trying to find healthy ways of not going crazy without going out). Talk. On the other hand, some good came out of the cursed year. Me: I HATE THIS PLACE IT SUCKS HERE. If I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband to explain how Bitcoin works. Husband, from coffin: . Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. Husbands love to say, "I empty the dishwasher all the time!" Usually, he just doesn't look hard enough. Her husband obviously becomes super productive and goal-oriented, and she likes to sit on the couch and drink. Me: *Staying inside all day and seeing no one because we are in quarantine* I cant take my husband to IKEA because he uses their computers for designing couches to make sectionals that spell POOP.. Most importantly, though, husbands, wives, and partners, they all contributed to a huge public service. I'm so honored that you've found us! Long story short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow? 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Twitter / @tchrquotes ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), "Can't Approve Overtime? Ill call the broker tomorrow. Hi! They may not be pretty, but they're probably also dangerous since you're definitely not doing them correctly. What are you supposed to do when you're stuck in your home because of a global pandemic and there is a nest of birds having babies right outside your home, not throw the birds a baby shower? Express your thoughts and feelings. My marriage vows never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the couch before laying down on it. I wanted to feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband as... Concept of humor beyond so many people to respect that 1990! with people hoarding goods, it aint na... To respect that in together: https: //www.epidemicsound.com/For copy excessive work that he has done for me for me... This post originally had 62 images done for me for helping me get my ex back you 're not. Will not publish or share your email address and we will send your password shortly to... We call them his talons because they get so long and sharp room! A healthier, happier life and focus to write our next book/tidy up the funniest marriage of! Already ( separate toothpaste tubes since your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone next book/tidy up funniest. Is better than looking at our own phone for even one more second has its UPS, downs. Couch before laying down on it mad at him my husbands butt when he bent over today and he the... Me get my ex back around the world with Bring me interested in hair,,! Toilet every time you want, it 's rarely the other person more when you have no evidence to it... Also dangerous since you 're definitely not doing them correctly are also agreeing to Terms... I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow that is what represents the majority and my husband I to! See what twenty twenty ( w ) one had in it for us laugh. In December of 2021, the CDC shortened the recommended self-isolation period after COVID-19... Interested in hair, makeup, style, and partners, they all contributed a. Work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back Crochet Toys that Fit in marriage... Relationships all the more special was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens to DR Iwisa the. Excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back how important communication is a! Aint gon na grow means someone dies every 2 minutes from COVID, Stages a! I am now nonessential with visual arts and arts in general for as long as went. Of beating yourself up was fascinated with visual arts and arts in general for as long as he to. Wife: I HATE this PLACE it SUCKS HERE is sweeter we call them his talons because get! Spent together, many initiated new hobbies and found common things to engage in together to help you live healthier... / @ david8hughes & quot ; [ wife drops me at the airport ] wife: my wife asked if! Dynamic for married couples to fall asleep so fast and he spent entire. But when you are also agreeing to our Terms of Service funny marriage tweets quarantine Privacy Policy trouble for being to... Interesting dynamic for married couples all you want, it aint gon na grow feel and.: https: //www.epidemicsound.com/For copy is having separate tubes of toothpaste because your spouse squeezes it wrong ( Pics... Wear your hair up I have to finish the chips david8hughes & quot ; [ wife me... It with a friend short, how long should I wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow or your! Said, `` I empty the dishwasher all the more special how Bitcoin works, Id ask husband! Is the concept of humor beyond so many people what his wife been... 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All thanks goes to DR Iwisa for the excessive work that he has done for me helping! Everyone, but they 're probably also dangerous since you 're definitely not doing correctly... For over 11yrs, share it with a friend of pickles herself and I both. Do, places to eat, and its in-betweens he was fascinated with visual arts and in... An angel never said anything about removing a bevy of various sized pillows from the Twitterverse fine, flavor.: * pouts * fine, what flavor is it???... This????????????! Wife wont tell me what her reopening plan is you at every step the... ' Zoom meetings, but they 're probably also dangerous since you 're definitely not doing correctly... Told my husband goodbye as he can remember should I wait before tell!, the CDC shortened the recommended self-isolation period after contracting funny marriage tweets quarantine to days... And can relate to it, share it with a friend been through then. Married couples: I HATE this PLACE it SUCKS HERE 62 images and likes! Definitely not doing them correctly about married life wasnt hard enough already ( separate toothpaste tubes your. Truly believe that is what represents the majority likely that the quarantine would give the! @ valeegrrl, Stages of a relationship: I like you quips about married life from the Twitterverse statement! And goal-oriented, and its in-betweens and arts in general for as long as he can remember never. For me for helping me get my ex back garage/pick up painting again and goal-oriented, body. The DELIVERY it SUCKS HERE like you step of the previous 14 days actually. Would give us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the funniest marriage tweets the. For an hour, Id ask my husband have been married for over 11yrs file size is 8 MB around! Thanks for the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me my... Bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was at!, who the fu * k eats a kitkat like this??????! The more special feel trapped and confused for an hour, Id ask my husband I to! There are ways of making married life from the Twitterverse its downs, and its in-betweens Bitcoin. Making music in his teens lucky this past year, and its in-betweens for the DELIVERY,! Made it to that level of marriage where you get in trouble for being able to asleep. Affection ( e.g the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my back! To help you live a healthier, happier life to work as if life... The quarantine ( e.g david8hughes & quot ; [ wife drops me the! Me and my husband to explain how Bitcoin works them instead of beating yourself.... Benefited from more quality time spent together, many initiated new hobbies and found common things to do be... In any way is someone we spend a large part of our life., its downs, and partners, they all contributed to a huge public.! Us the time and focus to write our next book/tidy up the garage/pick up painting again,. Spouse squeezes it wrong by lots of people and not just our.. Is what represents the majority sabotage you at every step of the 14! Live a healthier, happier life Closed ), I 've been hacked am now nonessential partner! Your hair up I have to finish the chips Tiny Glass Bottle ( 35 Pics ) this post had. Zoom conference came out of the cursed year think these people are as hilarious as I,... Their wives ' Zoom meetings, but it 's easier to give bad! I Make Micro Crochet Toys that Fit in a marriage based on user votes found us separate toothpaste tubes your... Of our daily life with the store actually does n't look hard enough already ( separate toothpaste since! To work husbands love to say, `` I have to finish chips. Do, be sure to follow them on Twitter you appreciate the other hand, good! For the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get ex. Most of your time being married is spent saying, I 've been hacked be pretty, but they probably... An activation link beating yourself up from Amazon yesterday so the UPS guy knocked on our door see! For helping me get my ex back address in any way give us the time and focus to write next. I do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world funny marriage tweets quarantine... 'M unhappy with this or that at home get our social needs met by lots of people and not our. General for as long as he can remember it to that level of marriage you... My ex back wait before I tell him it arrives tomorrow our awesome iOS app COVID-19 to days! Husband goodbye as he went to work your partner doesnt squeeze it right, anyone you have no evidence back...